


Switch Hitter

by DoubleL27



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Baseball, Blow Jobs, Discussions of Porn, Established Relationship, M/M, Patrick Brewer is Gay, Porn Without Plot, baseball analogies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 05:09:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21404710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoubleL27/pseuds/DoubleL27
Summary: “Smoak here is a switch hitter,” Patrick said, using his beer to gesture as Justin Smoak came up to bat righty.David levered himself off the couch just enough to gape at Patrick, phone dropping to the floor.  The blanket that had been covering David slipped down to pool at his waist. “How do you know that about him?”
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 20
Kudos: 180





	Switch Hitter

**Author's Note:**

> For the Goshi Squad who inspired this late night inspiration. 
> 
> No baseball players were harmed in the writing of this fic.
> 
> Also, David and Patrick are sensible, currently monogamous partners who have been well tested and know they’re clean. Safe sex is important.

Baseball season was one of Patrick’s favorite seasons. Mostly, David complained when Patrick set up to watch a game or disappeared to do something with Alexis. Tonight however, as summer slid into fall, David had deigned to join him on the couch for some late season baseball. His head was pillowed in Patrick’s lap while he texted Stevie and scrolled through social media. Patrick had one arm draped over the back of the couch, beer on hand, while the other carded through David’s hair, causing him to make happy purr noises every now and then. 

Despite David’s lack of attention to the current state of the Blue Jays in the AL East and Patrick’s joy of watching them kick some Red Sox ass, Patrick occasionally had to point out random things to David. David mostly rolled his eyes or said something non-committal like “mmhmm,” or “That’s nice,” without ever pausing what he was doing. 

“Smoak here is a switch hitter,” Patrick said, using his beer to gesture as Justin Smoak came up to bat righty. 

David levered himself off the couch just enough to gape at Patrick, phone dropping to the floor. The blanket that had been covering David slipped down to pool at his waist. “How do you know that about him?”

Patrick wasn’t sure how David was more excited about switch hitting than he had been about home run averages and how many games the Jays needed to be in the running for the wild card spot. Still, it was the first time David had connected with the lobs Patrick had been throwing his way. Patrick was going to field the question, even if it seemed a little obvious. 

“Umm, from watching him, David. How else?”

David came up fully and his jaw dropped. “There’s video? Where?” 

Patrick began to point out that they were watching him switch hit right now as he had batted lefty the other two times he had been at bat and was now batting right. David however, kept right on rambling. “I can’t believe you’re holding out on me. I thought we agreed that we would share all good porn together. I mean, he’s kinda cute in a sort-of country, dad-bod way. I have shown you the downloads I saved from Alexis’s porny Ted cam.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Patrick managed after trying to process the mess that had just fallen out of David’s mouth. 

David leaned over, sliding Patrick’s laptop out from the coffee table and opening it. He instantly started navigating to the encrypted files. “Patrick, the porn of this guy switch hitting, where do you keep it? Do you have a secret folder of baseball porn? Also,” David added, glancing over his shoulder, before turning back to his work, “the baseball people don’t care that he does gay porn? Considering all the bigots that watch sports you would think it would have become a big deal already.”

“David, I...no...” Patrick couldn’t stop his smile, or the mirth that bubbled out of him, causing his shoulders to shake. “I mean maybe but I don’t know what exactly he does. There’s no porn, David. Not of Justin Smoak.”

Patrick put his beer aside and covers David’s hands with his own. David stopped typing to gape at Patrick. 

“You said you had watched him switch hit!” David accused. 

“We are watching him switch hit right now.” Patrick cringed as Smoke swung and missed bringing things up to a full count. “Poorly.”

“If baseball was porn I would have started watching it a long time ago.”

“David, switch hitting is a baseball term. It means that you can bat from the left or right side of the plate depending on the pitcher.”

“Switch hitting means you will both top and bottom depending on the situation,” David corrected.

“Yes, but it was a baseball term before it was a sex term.”

David’s face traveled through several moods as he complained, “Why would you ever use baseball terms to describe sex? It’s not a sexy sport!” 

Patrick pinched the bridge of his nose as Smoak ended up with a walk. “David, where do you think the bases analogy for sex comes from?”

David’s hands flew up in the air. “The bases as sex stages analogy is a very outdated and heteronormative analogy that suggests to be real sex it has to be penetrative and it’s not surprising that something so stupid would be based on baseball!”

Patrick paused to take another sip from his beer. “Point taken.”

“Good.” David settled back down onto the couch, resting his head back in Patrick’s lap and grabbing his phone off the floor. “Whenever you’re done with this fucking nonsense, we’ll go over the real meaning of switch hitting.”

“I would take you up on it now but this game is important to the league standings,” Patrick told him as he reached over and covered David with the throw l.

“Mmmm,” David returned, fully engrossed in texting Stevie.

The inning ended with two runs scored and the Jays were up heading into the top of the eighth. The Blue Jays took the field and the Red Sox line up was called to start with Steve Pearce leading off the inning. It still rankled a little that he was in a Sox uniform instead of a Jay’s one. It was an opening for another baseball/sex reference. 

“Pearce here was traded and now he plays for the other team,” Patrick informed David, and waited patiently for the response. 

“When did he come out?” his fiancé asked absently. David glanced up from his phone for a moment to watch Pearce let a ball wiz by. “Also, he looks like a douche.”

Patrick took a sip of beer to swallow his laugh. He wove his fingers back into David’s hair and stroked as he said, “Last year,” he answered, keeping his tone flat. “It was all kind of sudden.”

“Lots of guys come out later in life, like you. Especially ones who play in homophobic leagues for a living. Good for him, though.”

Patrick pursed together in order to keep the laughter from spilling out and spoiling this moment. He watched as the jays managed to strike out Pearce and a cheer went up through the Rogers Centre. He continued watching closely until he felt David shift and the button on his pants pop open. 

“What are you doing?” Patrick asked, missing the third out of the top of the inning to watch David unzip his pants. 

David slid his hand underneath the band of Patrick’s underwear and headed down towards his dick. “If I am going to lay here watching stupid sports all with your half-mast dick under my head, we might as well get started on tonight’s main action while you finish the pregame.”

Patrick downed his beer before setting it on the coffee table while David worked his penis free. The Jays sent up their first batter as David closed his lips around Patrick’s cock and swirled his tongue around the tip. Patrick clutched the fabric of the couch and tried to keep his hips steady as David’s hand dropped to cup his balls. 

“Fuck,” slipped quietly from his own lips as David continued working on getting him off, his dick coming fully hard. 

“That’s the plan.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading the smuttiest thing I have written in a long time. Comments and kudos are always appreciated.


End file.
